This post is a little different to the usual talk about real estate and sales training, but an important topic none the less. My thanks to Peter Hutton for sparking this line of thinking that I’m going to share with you now.
I am right now walking every morning and I made a comment on facebook about being 10 days in and having only 11 to go to have my new habit ‘instilled.’ I was only half tongue in cheek when saying it and Peter’s comment was…
Peter Hutton sorry mate to burst your bubble, but that’s bullshit about 21 days in a row forms a habit. Most people yo yo after the 21 days because their motivation to make the change in the first place was in reaction to avoiding something. Lasting habit only comes from going for something that you would truly love. And even then it takes will. Not will power that is.
I’d like to give my take on what it takes to form a new habit. Simply this, it takes as long as younr unconscious mind takes to realise THIS MUST HAPPEN.
I have dealt with over one thousand smokers as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, and have a ridiculously high success rate. They form their new habit (of being a non smoker), when they get their unconscious mind aligned with some new beliefs, new patterns of behaviour, coupled with other things we do.
But it doesn’t take a clinical hypnotist to do this. My Dad was diagnosed with Cancer many years ago, and his doctor said something like ‘Mr Twiddle, you are a non-smoker from now on or I’m not helping you.
BANG, unconscious mind is on board and from that day Dad was a non smoker. Habit (whatever that is – GONE) so when the reason is big enough, and emotional enough to impact your unconscious mind, the part of you that just DOES but doesn’t cognitively ‘reason’ the way your conscious mind does, the you’ve got your new habit.
So in some ways I’m on board with Peter’s comment, because it isn’t some mystical figure that someone made up, (21 days), but that might be a handy average, because the 21 days is probably a nice mathmatical average of the time someone who has enough emotional reasons to do something new will stick to it.
Here’s another point, if you believe it to be 21 days, truly in your heart of hearts believe it, then, for you, it’ll be 21 days.
You’ll get what you believe. Now don’t you all go thinking I’ve gone all ‘The Secret’ on you and saying you’ll get everything you want by just thinking it without DOING anything rah rah….
But when your unconscious mind is convinced of something, it’ll usually find a way to make that belief a reality. eg once I had only a bunch of $50 notes in my wallet as that’s all I had at home when I left the house.
I made a purchase and when I was handed change from $20, I politely reminded the lady I’d given her a $50, and she denied it quite confidently that I had given her a $20.
I was SO certain that I’d given her a $50 that she promptly admitted she wasn’t sure, and gave me another $30. I’d driven half way to the city before realising taht I’d bought a quick snack on the way to that store, and yeah, I had only given her a $20.
I went back, gave her back the $30 with a grandiose apology, (I should have sent a note of thanks to the business owner as well), but that taught me a massive lesson….
‘You’ll get what you expect’
It won’t always happen that way, but it will OFTEN happen that way.
I hope this very unstructured article has been some food for thought for a few of you.
Glenn
